Miscellaneous funny convos

Nick: Kate, what do birds eat?

Kate: Worms. And bugs. And CHEESE.

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Nick: Are you going to be a good big sister and buy beer for Sam?

Kate: Yeah. I buy beer for Sam at Target.

Nick: You're going to buy him beer at Target?

Kate: Yeah. And eggs- eggs at Target.

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Kate: I HAVE A BOOBOO!

Nick: You have a booboo? How did you get it?

Kate: THE LION! THE LION GIVE ME BOOBOO!

Can't show my face in Walmart now

We were grocery shopping. And she said this all VERY loudly.

Kate: Mommy?

Me: Yes?

Kate: Buzz Lightyear have a penis?

Me: Uhm, yes. Look at that!

Kate: BUZZ LIGHTYEAR HAVE A PENIS?

Me: YES. Oh, should we get this?

Kate: BUZZ LIGHTYEAR HAVE A PENIS?

Thanks anyway

Nick's mom: Grandma needs a hug!

Kate: Nooo! Grandma needs a fart.

They really do hear everything...

A certain someone thought it would be a good idea to let Kate have a ladybug. Said someone did not think the ladybug needed oxygen and they did not poke any holes in its container. I got home and saw this arrangement and started lecturing Nick, saying "It needs air! It's a living thing! Give it some air!", etc. I didn't think Kate was listening.

This morning, we were in the garage and she saw the propane tank that goes to the gas grill. She asked what it was, and I thought for a second before telling her it was air.

Kate: Air for my ladybug?

Going commando

She was trying to ride a biggg plastic ball. She had a dress on but I noticed she had at some point felt the need to remove her underwear.

Me: Kate, can you put your underwear back on?

Kate: Nope. Just vagina.

High self esteem

Kate: Tickle my butt! I have a cute butt!

So polite

We were at the doctor for Sam's 6 month appointment. It was over, and I was getting him dressed when the nurse knocked and came in with a basket of stickers for Kate to choose from. Kate painstakingly chose a sticker with Hello Kitty and a dolphin on it. The nurse left.

Kate: Well. That was nice of her.

Kind of exaggerating

As we pulled out of the driveway...

Kate: Bye home! Home's great. It's wonderful.

Getting serious now

She's been big into "music shows". She dragged out her drum and her tambourine and proclaimed that it was a music show. I started playing the drum.

Kate (and this is verbatim, it's amazing how she can talk now!): STOP DOING THAT! This is MY music show.

The quote to end all quotes

Kate: What's this, daddy?

Nick: I don't know, what is it?

Kate: I don't know.

Nick: Well, where did you get it?

Kate: My vagina.

She's been listening...

Lulu was barking.

Kate: SHUT UP, Lulu! Lulu, time out?

[Lulu stopped barking]

Good choice, Lulu. Good choice.

I hope no one heard that....

We were shopping and I picked up some Children's Tylenol.

Kate: Mommy take drugs!!!!

Nice to meet youuuuu

No doubt she got this from Yo Gabba Gabba. She was shaking Sam's hand.

Kate: Nice to meet you. Uh-oh, eye booger!

Well, the "nice to meet you"/handshake part. I wouldn't recommend pointing out an eye booger when you meet someone.

Not so creative...

We have a big joke that, back in the day, Nick wanted to start a band and call it the oh-so-creative "Nick and the Rockers".

Kate informed me that she was in a band. I asked what the name of the band was.

Kate: "Dance Band."

I see she follows in his footsteps.

Also, "What's your baby doll's name?"

Kate: "Baby Brother".

Oy.

Gross....

We're in the early stages of potty training. Occasionally I remind her not to pee on whomever is on her underwear- "Don't pee on Elmo/Linny/Gabba", etc. She has responded with a multitude of questions about where and on whom it is okay to pee. Some examples:

"Pee on mommy?"

"Pee on ground?"

"Pee on couch?"

"Pee on daddy?"

"Pee on TV?"

"Pee on Sam?"

"Pee on milk?"